Get off my back

Some people have these incredibly fortunate and incredibly amazing lives.
Well, from the outside it seems amazing.
I shouldn't be down about my own life, I am fortunate compared to those sickly starving children from third world countries.
But for how I have been brought (in the fortunate country of Australia, in a middle-class white family), for where I am, my life lacks substance. As self-righteous as this may sound, I honestly think its through no fault of my own.
I lied.
Maybe it is thanks to my own fault.
Maybe if I was less selfish, more caring and more considerate to my family members, I'd recieve more without conflict.
I'd be given more freedom.
The conservatism would lay off (even no They swear they aren't the slighest bit conservative, I sense it. I can I see it--its just the little things you know).
And these kids around me do what they will, they are allowed.
But my heart doesn't want to decieve Them, but maybe I should, for my own well-being...there goes the selfishness in me again.
I don't know if this is making sense, and I don't fucking care.
I care about school. A lot. My teachers know that. They respect. I have these two really amazings teachers who I adore. Mrs Alexander (my english teacher) and Ms Harper (my drama teacher)...they have both come to me recently to talk about the stress I am putting on my myself. But really, I kind of have to put the stress on myself because I can't find the balance.
And my home life at the moment is hasty. If hasty's the right word.
Tania and Nat Tania and Nat Tania and Nat Tania and Nat...that is all They ever talk about, that is all They ever argue about thats it! And she's allowed to do what she wants. And she pisses me off sometimes. And They have these days (She specifically) where I swear they're against me, I can feel their vibes. But other days are great, only if I say and do the right things.
I think They are jealous. I can't express it to you.

I cannot express it.